Living in Disguise (May-24-2005)

You sit there and look at me, but can you really see me?

I act in front of you all the time, can’t you see it in my eyes?
I guess I’m better than I thought at living in disguise.
You make a joke and then I laugh, sounds real, don’t ya think?
You don’t know me, but I’m like a puzzle, with a missing link.
My eyes, they sparkle when I smile, don’t you think they’re pretty?
Who knew I could act so well when I’m feeling down and shitty.
You think that you can read me like a book when you cannot,
It may look like I’m happy and all, when my insides are a knot.
When I’m screaming inside and feel like crap, and would much rather die,
You ask how I am, I answer fine, and you miss the blatant lie.

I act in front of you all the time, can’t you see it in my eyes?
I guess I’m better than I though, at living in disguise.

My friends they just can’t see that its eating me inside,
I used to love hanging out down town, now I’d much rather hide.
They ask me if I’d like to go shopping, and in German I say ‘nein’,
I make up some lame excuse, and then get, ‘ok, next time’.
Don’t they see the pattern, that I’m lying all the time?
It’s exactly like telling the difference between a penny and a dime!

I act in front of you all the time, can’t you see it in my eyes?
I guess I’m better than I thought at living in disguise.

My heart it aches and beats real fast, pounding in my chest,
It’s times like this when my acting skills are put to the test.
Sometimes it gets hard to hide what’s living in my soul,
But I just laugh and smile at you ‘cause I am in control.
So this is how I live my life and go from day-to-day,
My soul inside is melting, but my face is made of clay.
I bet this stuff about my life, are things you never knew,
So now I sit back and wonder, what’s really inside you.

I act in front of you all the time, Don’t you see it in my eyes?!
I guess I’m better than I thought at living in disguise