I watch it to remind myself.
This is not what I want.
I watch it over and over.
Convincing myself again.
It comes back without warning.
How I long for the feeling.
I watch and I listen again.
I wait for that urge to leave.
I wait for the anxiety to hit.
For the disappointment to set in.
Then I know I’m safe.
How much longer this time.
Will I watch it again next week.
Maybe its for good this time.
Maybe now I can rest in peace.
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